Working on Striving to Enjoy the Moments

Well, I have decided that this is the way I am going to journal for the most part from now on...so I figure that maybe here in the near future, I should make my blog private.  In the meantime, I am keeping it as is.  For one thing, it is 3:31 AM in the morning and I can't sleep and for another thing, it will take more time to figure things out with the private settings.  I also figure that I need to spend more time creating a much cuter blog that I will want to have made copied into books someday.  I am inspired by my friend, Nikki, who keeps her blog for journals.....great idea.

Christmas is over, kids/hubby are asleep...it is 3:33 AM now and I am still awake?  What is up with this?  Hmmmm can't sleep must mean that I had either eaten too many gingerbread cookies or I have way too much on my mind.  So, I will blog, turn on a sweet Christmas movie and fall asleep.  At least I can sleep in a little in the morning so to speak (as much as one can with a 3 1/2 year old etc.).

Christmas was great.  It was stressful too due to income BUT...thanks to the wise teachings of my mom, we were able to find some things at a bargain price and things at garage sales.  I also felt soooo blessed by the desire to reach outward this year.  There was soooo much that I wanted to do for all of my friends and family but a Merry Christmas and what we could sufficed this year. We also had a great time doing the Christmas carroling with the Service family as well.  I truly felt joy from doing this.

You know, one of the most amazing things ever that reminded me of the true Christmas Spirit is when we were grabbing some sandwich fixings from Bashas near the Mesa AZ Temple and  a sweet lady outside who was obviously physically impaired just asked if we could spare a $1 to help her with bus fare for physical therapy. When I had her a $10 bill she said, "No that is way too much" and then began to cry out of pure gratitude. She asked me to pray for her family and I mentioned how seeing the temple lights would cheer her up. She asked my permission to give her a hug and I couldn't resist.  This touched my heart and put my family's tightness into perspective.  Of course I would love to not worry about bills etc., who wouldn't. If I had the funds, I would love to take family and friends on a trip to the Church History sites as well as to Disneyland etc. but for now, I can take those trips in my dreams.

Another thing that I wish I had was enough time in the day to spend with such wonderful people around me. There are so many amazing moms in my ward with whom I would love to get to know better. Now, they may not feel the same way but it doesn't matter...I still think they are great.  I am learning that there is always more than meets the eye when you look at someone and think that you know them.  I hope to remember this throughout the rest of my life.

Wow, my thoughts are bouncing around here but that is my brain in action...hence the late (early) hour and hence the tons of stuff on my mind....I am amazed how awake I am right now...good thing I am not rock wall climbing tomorrow...whew...

What else did  want to write about...oh, the fact that this next Spring 2012 semester at ASU is going to be amazingly busy but interesting too.  I hate having to not be more free to spend time with people (especially my family) but I know that I am doing the right thing by furthering my education in order to work as a team with my husband to be able to become financially steady again.  We have felt steadiness before and it will be great to feel it again.  I want to pay it forward.

But for now, there is apparently much more I have to learn with dealing with a rattling van, items I would like to replace etc.  But, I must admit that we have been soooo very blessed and the eternal perspective has been coming to my mind over and over and over again.  I have a family where the financial dynamics are amazing and there isn't anything wrong with having nice things just as long as the perspective is kept in check.  But, deep inside I LOVE quality items...I have gotten this from my mom.  In the meantime, I have a greater desire this new year to take better care of what I currently own and most importantly of what has been loaned to me for now (such as our beautiful children entrusted into our care from our loving Heavenly Father).

Despite the craziness of life, my I take more time to read books to my beautiful girls, compliment them more often, make quality time together such as Moments With Mom, and be there for them more.  May I spend more quality time with my dear husband and go to the temple much more often.  May I learn to look outsied myself more by caring about the feelings of others, giving people the benefit of the doubt and making this world a more brighter place.

May I learn to sort through some of the cranky feelings I have been feeling lately, allow myself to be human but to be able to sort things through with the right attitude/perspective.  May I also continue to enjoy the wonderful blessing of having my sweet sister-in-law here living with us as well since we don't know how long we will be able to be together for.

May I have more faith in prayer, walk taller in my shoes, take better care of myself physically (I can start by getting to bed earlier...LOL) and by not comparing my worst with someone's best and not comparing at all unless it's a healthy judgment.

Well, I pray for a much better new year and enjoy the time with my little family.  I am thankful that my malignant melanoma didn't spread and that I am healthy.

May anyone who reads this post, feel peace and know also that though we aren't perfect the reason to keep moving forward is. We are special and noticed by our loving Heavenly Father.  If only we could feel what it will truly be like in heaven someday!!!  In the meantime, may we make this earth a little more like heaven each new day.

Bye for now!

Love,
Kathy